10/8/08- “I am not feeling well. I spent 2.5 hours at Kaiser Monday with the doctor, tests, lab work, and x-rays. The doctor suspects a gall stone is blocking a duct from the liver.”
10/10/08 – “The ultra sound examination revealed lesions in my liver. Monday I will have a CT Scan to determine the extent of the lesions and if there are other organs involved.”
And so it began – the beginning of the end. 8 months ago, Virda Stevens was diagnosed with cancer of the colon which had spread to the liver. Treatments of both medication and chemotherapy immediately began. At the beginning of the year it looked like the cancer was being contained, but this past month it became clear that it was a losing battle. Ironically, we found out on the day when we were praying and fasting (as a church) for her.
6/15/09 – “As many of you were diligently fasting and praying for Virda (Mom) this past Thursday; we spent a few hours at Stanford, meeting with Mom’s Oncologist and reviewing her most recent test results. The test results show that the cancer has aggressively spread in Mom’s body, and that the chemo treatments are not working. There is only one remaining chemo treatment option left, but Mom’s Oncologist believes that it will NOT be effective in stopping or slowing the cancer. He also fears that this last chemo option could cause far more health complications for Mom, than benefit, or gains. Thus, his recommendation is to stop all treatments (other than pain management), and to focus on enjoying what remaining time Mom has left. Ugh!! Those are the words that I did not want to hear; and now I’ve relayed them to you.“
It is times like this when I thank God for his omniscience, for I could not have borne the knowledge then. Sure, cynics can walk around saying that Life is Terminal but when it comes down to it, it is a struggle to give up life. Especially when it is a beautiful one, which Virda’s was.
How beautiful? I have known her less than a decade, when she was in her 60s-70s and even in that space/time she served wholeheartedly. She started a free preschool in our church 30 years ago, which touched generations of children. She led women’s Bible study groups once a week, and supported Bill in his role of church elder. Every year, they would invite the whole church for Labor Day picnic at their house, and Virda would be in the kitchen prepping, directing and for sure cleaning after we left. Somewhere in there, she found space/time to be a devoted mom and grandma.
6/19/09 – “This past Tuesday evening we started noticing a pretty significant change in Mom’s condition. She has really weakened, and her appetite and energy have dropped off. She has been sleeping a great deal, and having fewer “awake” moments, & has had some disoriented moments. Hospice care has started and we are working diligently to keep Mom as comfortable as possible. It’s hard to believe that things could be digressing and moving this quickly.“
There are more questions than answers. Why didn’t we have a longer time with Virda? Why wasn’t the cancer detected earlier? Even without the questions, the wordless pain forces us to struggle when saying the very words our society deems appropriate for such occasion. “I am sorry to hear about Virda”, and “My condolences to your family” are limp crutches when we behold the reminder of sin ravaging the world (Romans 5:12 – Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all men…).
Yet, hard as it is for us to see, Virda saw something in the ashes. Last Thursday we met to pray for her, she made a surprise appearance and told us the news about the cancer spreading. And yet, her message was to encourage us.
6/11/09 – “Many of you were able to hear Mom speak at church (on the day of prayer and fasting that was held for her at Redwood Church). For those of you that were not able to hear her speak, she wanted me to be sure to pass her message along via this care page. Mom wanted everyone to know that she is grateful for their prayers and support, and that while she would like to be here a little longer, that she is also ready to “go to heaven” and believes that either way, “it’s a Win, Win” because she is victorious through Christ, and has peace and assurance.“
And go with peace and assurance she did. All the time of treatments and ‘robe days’, she did not complain. And she went to her eternal home peacefully today at 2:15 pm.
6/23/09 – “It is with both sadness, and joy, that I let you know that Virda (our Mother) crossed the finish line in her battle with cancer today; and departed to heaven this afternoon. She led a beautiful life. We are so sad to lose her, but are so grateful that her battle and suffering have come to an end, and we’re filled with joy to know that she is now rejoicing in Heaven.“
The beginning of the end, did I say? Perhaps the end of a beautiful life here on earth. But I have faith that something even more beautiful awaits. In 2 Timothy 4:6-8, Paul writes:
For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.
